Not Today.

I spent far too many years in an abusive relationship.  When I left my girls were 11, 4 and 1.  What motivated me the most was that I didn't want them to grow up believing that what there were seeing was love.  I wanted to be very clear that when someone LOVES you they don't ABUSE you.  I can only pray that I got that message across.

I bring this up today because I saw this:

I knew what was coming, so it didn't totally knock the wind out of me, but it's so damn sad.  That last line - that there isn't only one victim, is so true.  I can see it in my girls, more often than I would like.

I judged women who were abused most of my life. I just didn't understand.  Until it was me.  Until I woke up one day and realized that the man I thought I loved more than anything, the man that I had pledged to spend the rest of my life with, was an abuser.   You pretend, every day, that its okay, that tomorrow will be better, for so long.  It truly snuck up on me.  And suddenly I was one of them.  A victim.  Now I am survivor - but the road is a long and frightening one.  And I hope that if you are being abused, that you can find the strength to leave.  But if you don't have it today - I understand. 

I spent many of those years thinking I was garbage, and ended up very depressed.  Since I hate to leave being all depressing like I wanted to share this as well.